a new direction

i have been trying to figure out what to do here on the blog.
i read a lot of blogs.
i enjoy a handful of blogs daily.
i like to think i could be a blogger.
but am i interesting enough?
would anyone be interest in me?
my thoughts?
my life?
my likes and dislikes?

anyway.
i guess i have the gift of gab and can ramble with the best of them.

i have been thinking and praying and brainstorming.
trying to figure out how to make this blog 100% represent me.
i have been through a lot in my life.
my short 33 years.
but those things have formed me to whom i have become.

many people don't know that my mother died when i was 15.
renal cell carcinoma
aka. kidney cancer
she was only 39.
my mother was the best mother hands down.
i wish she was here.

i wish she would have been here for my...
high school graduation
boy friends and breakups
college graduation
my first real job
my wedding
the birth of my children
the loss of my daughter
and
just to be there a phone call away for any mommy parenting questions
or
just to chit chat with.

with that being said.
many people don't know that my daughter died at 17 1/2 months old.
she was diagnoised with cancer at 13 1/2 months old
AT/RT
Atypical Teratoid Rhabdiod Tumor
Pediatric Cancer
very rare
less than 10% survival rate
4 month long battle
chemo
radiation
physical therapy
and
much
much
more.

i feel like all i have been through that my FAITH has been tested.
and
by the Grace of God i am me and i feel loved
and
I can't wait to see my mom and baby girl again.

i have came to the conclusion that i am wanting to share my daughters story
here on this blog
Hannah's journey started on August 6, 2008.
while she was battling i kept a journal on caringbridge.org
i have decided to share her journey here and update my blog every day that i updated her caringbridge in 2008.
my purpose is not to relive her journey, which i will.
but that is okay.
i feel like that if some other family out there is searching for information about AT/RT
and/or
pediatric cancer...i want to be able to be a resource for them.
we lived through this crazy terrible nightmare.
we lost our baby girl.
but what a blessing she was to us.
my husband and i have grown closer.
our faith has multiplied.
and we are making the best out of the life we have been given.

i will start her journey on tuesday.
here is a few pictures of our baby girl.
Hannah Lee